


Text From A Gentleman

by Corvin



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Product placements for restaurants, TW Mention of Piers Morgan, demisexual Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, drunk!eggsy, lots of texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 09:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16595084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvin/pseuds/Corvin
Summary: [8:04]You passed out in your dog’s bed and only willingly woke up because I told you there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you.Based off a TFLN Hartwin post that I couldn't find.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just really needed to post something. Not britpicked or even beta read, really. I listened to the Clash while I read through it for any glaring spelling errors, but I don't think that counts.

_[8:04]You passed out in your dog’s bed and only willingly woke up because I told you there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you._

Eggsy blinked blearily at the text message and unfamiliar number on the far too bright screen. His bed was too warm, he was covered in a thin, oily layer of sweat, and his mouth tasted like an ashtray. But he had no clue what the text was referring to.

Shitty as he felt, his mind automatically began to connect some dots. He drank with someone, but not someone who knew to keep him away from cigarettes when he’d been drinking. All of his mates knew he’d smoke a whole pack, despite having ‘quit’ a year and a half ago.

They probably also had the decency to force some water on him. If he’d been blackout pissed, his hangover should have been a lot worse.

Tentatively, Eggsy peeked out from under the protection of his blanket, and he spied a half empty glass of water on his nightstand. There was a note underneath it, but Eggsy didn’t have the energy to do more reading.

His phone showed 9:58AM, so Eggsy rolled over and buried his face in his pillow again.

* * *

Eggsy bolted up several hours later with another coherent thought. Who the fuck had he allowed into his house?

He looked down at his phone, still sweaty and overly warm, but significantly less nauseated and light sensitive. 2:04PM, no new text messages, but a few Facebook and Instagram notifications. He overlooked them to finally check the note.

_You didn’t have any pain relief medication, but please at least keep hydrated. I hope to hear from you again._

_\--Harry H._

Eggsy wrinkled his nose. He didn’t know any fucking Harry, and he sure as Hell wasn’t going to drink any water left behind. He might be alright, but Eggsy didn’t get as far in life as he did by trusting in the kindness of strangers.

He stood, swaying momentarily before he grabbed the glass and marched to the bathroom to dump it out. After rinsing out the glass several times, Eggsy refilled it and chugged it all. It took several more refills and another hour getting cleaned up before he felt human enough to go check on JB.

JB hadn’t gone on the floor, but it was apparently a close thing judging by his dash for the door the moment he saw Eggsy.

The air still smelled wet, but blessedly it wasn’t raining when Eggsy stepped outside with JB on a leash. As they strolled, he finally set about checking the notifications on his phone, and his insides roiled as the events of the night before became a bit more clear.

Amidst the comments on older posts and invitations to games and events, he had several comments and likes on a new profile picture.

In the picture, Eggsy was hideously red-faced and grinning, and his blue button down was half open. He was leaning back against an older man in a suit; the pose screamed ‘impromptu selfie’ as the older man, possibly Harry(?), looked surprised.  

Eggsy bit his lip. The man wasn’t tagged, but sure enough the caption read _me n hary_ followed by several emoticons that Eggsy couldn’t begin to decipher.

Most of the comments were his mates lambasting him for not inviting them if he was going out bar hopping. Brandon commented _luv da bfs glasss #dilf_. It had 24 likes, and Eggsy hated him for it.

JB barked, and Eggsy realized he’d been staring at his phone while standing completely still. “Sorry, love,” he murmured, continuing on. Facebook damage surveyed, Eggsy switched to Instagram.

The images and videos that were missing from his often neglected Facebook profile were all there. Eggsy closed the app without looking at them, and he immediately began checking his phone for further evidence.

Most of the pictures were blurry from mid-motion snaps, but they were clear enough to see that they were mostly at a bar, and all with Harry. There were videos, but Eggsy tucked them away for when he was in the privacy of his own flat.

JB demanded a longer walk than normal, and Eggsy obliged, semi-hoping that he would get home only to find that he’d hallucinated all the damning evidence on his phone.    

Once JB was happily munching on an extra large late lunch, Eggsy collapsed on his second hand sofa. His battery was down to 38%, and he considered putting off the inevitable in favor of charging it first.

“Nope, rip it off like a bandaid,” he muttered, selecting the first video of the night.

It started while he was still out with Roxy. Eggsy vaguely recalled wondering where Ryan had met someone so posh, let alone got her to agree to a blind date with one of his friends, but they had fun.

Eggsy opened the way he did with most dates. Explaining that he didn’t have sex, wasn’t interested in sex, rarely if ever felt sexual attraction. Roxy had smiled, relaxed, and answered that she was bisexual but leaned more toward women. The date quickly became a bonding night out for new friends that ended with rescuing a pretty duchess from a frat boy who thought negging was still a fresh move.

The video was the three of them on the dance floor, clearly tipsy.

The two ladies had begged off after a bit, and Eggsy had seen them safely to a cab. But that was all he could remember with real clarity.

He went to the next video.

_It opened with a shaky view of his feet stumbling out of a cab. There were still people walking, and it was a well lit area, so Eggsy recognized that it was a lot nicer than his usual haunts. He heard his own voice say, “holy shit,” before the video cut off._ That didn’t bode well.

_The next video started with the camera pointed at a polished wooden floor. He heard himself order a vodka martini, something he ordered when he was trying to sound classy, before the view shifted._

_It pointed at Harry, and in the video Eggsy could finally see all of him, tall and trim in a blue suit and looking far more well fit than someone greying at the temples should._

_“Holy shit, are you Piers Morgan?” came Eggsy’s slurring voice._

_Harry turned to the camera slowly. His response was harder to hear over the background noise. “That might be the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.”_

The video cut off and Eggsy had to take a break as he choked on a laugh. He wasn’t sure if it only sounded so deadpan because the inflection was lost to the recording, but it was a perfect response.

Slightly less afraid, Eggsy opened the next video.

_“Me ‘n Harry!” Eggsy was singing, clearly swaying and leaning back against Harry’s shoulder. “Yeh, I took a picture, now s’video.”_

_Harry looked dryly at the camera, his glasses catching the light from the screen. “Drink your water, Eggsy.”_

_“I want shots!” Eggsy demanded, and the video blurred again before cutting off._

Significantly more afraid, Eggsy opened the next video.

_“Tell me you love me!” Eggsy was whining. He and Harry were in the back of a car, and Eggsy seemed to have managed to climb half into Harry’s lap._

_“I love you, Eggsy,” Harry replied obediently; Eggsy noted that the lack of inflection from before wasn’t imagined. “I would love it more if you’d buckle your seatbelt.”_

_The hand holding the phone was drifting down, but Eggsy could still see how he buried his face against Harry’s chest. He was singing something incoherently._

_Harry looked down at him for a few seconds before he seemed to notice the phone. He reached out to take it, and the video ended._

There weren’t any more videos, but there were several more pictures both blurry and dark. Eggsy had woken up that morning in his undershirt and boxers, so it seemed safe to assume that Harry had not only helped him to bed from JB’s cushion in the kitchen, but he’d also undressed him. Eggsy had no issues sleeping in his clothes, especially after a night out drinking. How much did he drink?

He did have a bad habit of throwing back shots if he felt like he was ‘sobering up too fast’, as well as smoking anything he could get his hands on.

Normally, he wouldn’t have had so much without friends who knew how to handle him.

His stomach growled, and Eggsy blinked down at it, realizing he’d forgotten to eat. He’d been hungry the night before too, having not eaten before the date because he thought they would be getting dinner.

Eggsy sighed at his own stupidity of drinking on an empty stomach. He stuffed his phone into his pocket and wandered into the kitchen to look for something to eat.

Embarrassing actions aside, he’d gotten home in one piece, JB was safe, and it seemed that Harry didn’t rob him of his meager belongings. His phone buzzed another notification but Eggsy ignored it in favor of stuffing slices of plain bread into his face. Should he text Harry back? He’s fairly sure that Harry had been a decent sort.

Plus he’d already made two new friends in Roxy and Sophie, so why shouldn’t he text Harry back?

Eggsy returned to the sofa with JB trailing behind him. He was interested to see what sort of old guy would look after a drunk chav who’d wandered into an upscale neighborhood… Eggsy decided he would text Harry back and complain about the lack of a Snickers bar, only to find a message from Roxy waiting for him on Facebook.

_(15:11) When the fuck did you meet my boss?_

* * *

After a short, startled back and forth, Eggsy was sitting across from Roxy at a cafe. He nibbled at a biscuit, watching her primly stir honey into her tea.

She looked serene, but Eggsy felt as though he could sense that she was irate. He cleared his throat, and she looked up at him sharply. Yep, there it was.

“So,” she said, blowing on her tea. “I was quite surprised to see your new profile picture today.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy stopped short because he accidentally inhaled a crumb.

“Tell me,” Roxy pressed after he finished coughing. “How is it that after the end of a semi-successful date, you managed to hunt down the man who signs my paycheck?”

The phrasing gave Eggsy pause. “Do you think I did it on purpose?”

“I don’t know, Eggsy,” she said, returning to her blank facade. “I don’t know you.”

Eggsy sat straight up, pressing his hands to the table. “Rox, swear down, I didn’t find your guv on purpose.” He unlocked his phone and opened his files. “I barely remember anything, but I’m sloshed as fuck in these.”

Roxy started the first video, but paused it quickly and retrieved some earbuds from her purse. She gave Eggsy a look as she plugged them in and started the video again. Eggsy leaned back, fidgeting as he watched her face begin to turn red.

She covered her mouth, but several giggles escaped before she put the phone down. “Wow,” she breathed, smiling freely. “Thank you for that.”

Eggsy took his phone back. “Believe me?”

“I think so,” she chuckled. “That restaurant you wandered into, it was one of the places I suggested to the cab driver.”

“You suggested a place?”

“Yes, you were complaining that you needed food. So I told the driver some places that I knew would be open.”

Eggsy frowned, “but...I saw you off.”

“You certainly tried,” Roxy drawled, patting his hand. “But you were having a tough time yourself, so Sophia and I gave you the cab.”

“Oh, shit.” He was never going to drink again. “Well, Harry was there.”

“So I saw, honestly, _Piers Morgan_ ,” she muttered.

“I was drunk!” Eggsy cried defensively.

“Well he clearly didn’t take offense. Did he say anything this morning?”

Eggsy opened up his text history and showed her the message. “Been putting the night together since I woke up, haven’t said anything back.”

“I see. Well, don’t bring up knowing me, just in case he hates you but was too much of a gentleman to leave you alone.” Roxy sipped her tea.

“Rude.” Eggsy shoved the rest of his biscuit into his mouth. “So you think I should respond after all though?”

“If you like. He’s a very lovely man, if a bit intimidating in the workplace.”

“Did I ask what you did last night?” Eggsy asked, squinting.

“You did, but I’ll tell you again,” Roxy produced a heavy, embossed business card and held it up for Eggsy to see. “I’m a tailor.”

“Neat.” He meant it.

“That’s what you said last night,” Roxy said, tucking it away again.

“I meant it. Harry’s a tailor too?” He would have pictured something like a doctor, or a lawyer, something less to do with customer service.

“He owns the shop, but he has been known to help out from time to time.” Roxy finished off the last of her tea and slipped the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “I need to get going, but this was fun. We should get lunch sometime.”

“Maybe a little less suspicion next time?”

“Maybe,” Roxy offered one last smile before she scooted back from the table.

Eggsy watched her go before he looked back down at his phone. It was still open to the text message. Hesitantly, Eggsy typed out his response and hit send before he lost his nerve.

_[17:42] Never got that fucc=kin snickers_

He took his and Roxy’s napkins and cleaned up the mess of crumbs he made before leaving as well. He made it all the way home before he received a response.

_[17:45] I shall endeavor to make it up to you._

Eggsy snorted and replied immediately.

_[17:45] U better Haz_

He scratched JB’s belly and fetched the leash to take him for one last walk. It was getting cold out, and JB didn’t like to walk when the ground was too cold. His phone buzzed.

_[17:46] Don’t call me that._

Eggsy saved the number under ‘Haz’.

* * *

Eggsy came to learn that there was a window of time in which Harry would text back immediately, and hardly even beyond that. He kept up the correspondence for close to two weeks, learning that Harry had been entertained at the bar, worried enough to see Eggsy home, and that he had found JB ‘terribly charming’.

There was no talk of meeting up again, only texting idly about the day. It suited Eggsy fine. He had briefly entertained the worry that Harry might be one of those old perverts that liked a bit of rough. But then, Roxy vouched for him, and he hadn’t taken advantage of Eggsy’s clinginess that night.

He finished cashing out the register before he breathed a sigh of relief. Shifts at the Black Prince rarely brought surprises, and it was a gift and a curse. An easy night could easily drag on, and Eggsy was itching to get home to JB.

“I’m out,” he called back to Sal, pocketing his tips. It had been a good night, that much closer to visiting his mum and Daisy in Blackpool. It was hard, living so far away from them, but he was glad that his mum was out of a toxic situation. It used to bother him that it took Dean’s death in a drunk driving accident for her to step back, but he long since accepted what he could get.

_[23:32] If i had a car it b ezr to visit mum n dais_

Eggsy pulled on his coat as he ducked out the door. His breath fogged up, but he wouldn’t need to worry about gloves for another few weeks, which was good considering JB chewed up his last pair.

_[23:35] Eggsy, you know how I feel about that._

Eggsy did know how Harry felt about it. Hence why he played up the text speech.

_[23:36] what r u doing up?_

_[23:37] It’s my weekend. Have you just finished work?_

Eggsy considered his answer while he walked. It was too cold not to keep his hands in his pockets. It was the first time Harry had mentioned the weekend. Eggsy never owned his own business before, but he supposed it wasn’t quite the same as a regular job with set hours. If this was his first time off, he probably had more exciting things planned than being bothered by Eggsy in the middle of the night.

_[23:40] big plans for ur wknd?_

_[23:41] No, I’m very antisocial._

_[23:43] i literaly met u at a bar_

_[23:45] Well, I’d had a late night and didn’t want to cook._

_[23:46] u never sed i ruined diner_

_[23:47] It’s fine. After I saw you home, I found a McDonalds._

Eggsy laughed loudly at the image of Harry sitting in a plastic booth, munching on a Big Mac.

_[23:48] ill have to endevr to make it up 2 u_

His cheeks burned as he hit send, and he quickly silenced his phone and stuck his hands back in his pockets for the remainder of the walk home. Most of the windows of the homes he passed were dark, something he was still getting used to. At the old estates, it felt like at least half the windows were constantly lit up with loud music splitting the air.

JB came trotting up the moment Eggsy was inside, whining for food. Eggsy obliged, and leaned against the counter once JB was noisily eating away. He took a deep breath and checked his phone.

_[23:50] I’m free for the next two days._

“Shit,” Eggsy muttered, face burning all the more. He shouldn’t feel flustered at the thought of meeting up with Harry. There wasn’t any deep meaning behind it, and he was no longer embarrassed of his antics on the night they met. But the idea of actually seeing Harry in person, and remembering it, made his stomach twist nervously.

He toyed with his phone, considering his work schedule.

_[24:02] lunch day after tomorrow?_

There was a bit of a wait before he received a response, and Eggsy spent every second staring hard at his phone.

_[24:06] That sounds lovely. Have you been to Planet Hollywood?_

Eggsy began to laugh again, nerves forgotten. 

* * *

He was not laughing two days later as he hastily pulled two jackets on. The temperature had dropped significantly, and his only option on those days was to layer up, as he hadn’t been able to get a real winter coat in years.

The orange top layer clashed with his polo shirt, and Eggsy cringed at his reflection in the windows of the bus. It was a mystery why he’d thought he was ready to meet Harry. Despite never having felt picky about his clothes before, he suddenly found that nothing in his closet would do. The outfit he was wearing was only chosen because he’d realized that it was past time to leave.

His phone provided little comfort. Harry agreeing that they would meet at the restaurant, and would get there early to ‘save a table’.

Eggsy reached his stop late, thanks to traffic, so he ran the rest of the way to Planet Hollywood. There were groups of tourists along the street that he had to dodge and twirl around, and he was huffing and sweaty all over again by the time he reached his destination.

It was just as crowded as the street, and Eggsy wilted.

“Unwin?”

He jumped as a peppy waitress in a Planet Hollywood tee addressed him. Wordlessly, Eggsy nodded.

“This way,” she chirped, turned on her heel.

Eggsy blinked, but obediently followed as she led him up a staircase. The noise disappeared, and the floor opened up to a loft filled with empty tables, except for one in the far corner.

Harry, in an honest to God three piece suit, look up from his menu only as Eggsy sat. “Hello Eggsy,” he smiled warmly. “It’s good to see you again.”

Eggsy gulped, feeling distinctly off-kilter as he shrugged off his two jackets. “Harry,” he greeted, looking around so that he didn’t have to maintain eye contact; idly noting that the waitress had left. “You scare everyone else off?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Harry followed Eggsy’s gaze. “I thought it might be busy, so I called ahead and reserved this space.”

Eggsy wasn’t even aware one could reserve space here. He let it show on his face that he was impressed as he leaned back in his seat. “Should I be flattered?”

Harry’s smiled deepened in amusement. “It wouldn’t be bad if you were. Although, you practically swooned when I said that I’d be unhappy if you were stabbed in the street.”

It was clearly meant to be an embarrassing anecdote, but Eggsy still the idea a bit touching. He huffed to cover it up, “not like I got a lot of people who’d feel that way.”

The dark humor, rather surprisingly, wasn’t lost on Harry. He shut his eyes and laughed quietly. “Well, now you have one more.”

Eggsy warmed, and he looked back towards the stairs. “Think she’ll be back soon?” he asked to change the subject.

“Yes, I requested martinis for when you arrived,” Harry said. “Made properly, of course.” Eggsy raised his eyebrows and Harry sighed. “So you’ve forgotten, have you? When we met you were drinking a vodka martini.”

“And?”

Harry looked pained.

“You _are_ a snob!” Eggsy crowed, leaning back in his chair. “S’it because it was shaken, not stirred?”

“Martinis are made with gin, Eggsy,” Harry implored.  

Eggsy kept laughing, more so at how serious Harry seemed to be taking a drink ingredient than anything else. Who cared as long as it did the trick? He wiped a phantom tear away from his eye and just smiled. “Anything else I forgot? There a fork I should remember to use with my _gin_ martini?”

“I’m afraid there’s only one sort of fork available at this establishment,” Harry deadpanned, tapping one long finger on the handle of his fork. “But feel free to stab yourself with it.”

Eggsy began to laugh again. The whole night passed in that way, with Harry somehow remaining demure while eating a cheeseburger, and making Eggsy chortle every other sentence. It was easy to see why his drunk self was so eager to hang all over Harry.

“So you don’t remember anything,” Harry surmised as Eggsy struggled through an anecdote about their initial introduction. “How much did you have to drink?”

“Not that much, I just forgot to eat,” Eggsy chomped on a chip. “Thought I’d get a bite on the blind date.”

“I seem to recall you mentioning something about a date when you tried to eat my cocktail onion. If you had said you were hungry, I would have brought you some McNuggets.”

“Would have one-upped my date, Harry?” Eggsy asked, resting his chin in his hand.

“Well, I’m feeding you now, aren’t I?” Harry looked pointedly down at the remains of the rack of ribs Eggsy had demolished.

Sheepishly, Eggsy reached for another napkin to make sure his face was clean of the sauce. He wondered what sort of other impression he might have given Harry for all of this idle flirtation to feel so natural.

“Was that too much?” Harry asked when Eggsy’s silence stretched on.

It would be a good time to say yes, let Harry know that Eggsy never really swung that way beyond glances, never went for older people, never felt real sexual inclinations. But, all that aside, there was something intensely likable about Harry. So in that moment, Eggsy didn’t feel any need to enforce any sort of boundary.

“Nah,” he said, eating another chip. “You’re good.”

“Please let me know if I make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh you’ll know,” Eggsy grinned, ignoring that fact that Harry was giving the ketchup at the corner of his mouth a look.

The look was broken when Harry stilled noticeably, and then pulled his mobile phone from his pocket. “Well shit,” he muttered darkly, causing Eggsy to sputter. “I’m afraid I must be off.”

“Oh,” Eggsy couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice.  

“I apologize, Eggsy,” Harry wiped his mouth a final time and folded his paper napkin next to his plate. He stood and hooked his umbrella over his arm. “I’ll take care of the bill on my way out. May I call on you again?” He blinked with big brown eyes, as though he was a puppy trying to get out of trouble.   

Eggsy huffed around his smile. “You fuckin’ better.”

True to his word, Harry paid for their meal before he left, and the waitress brought a slice of cheesecake in a takeout box for Eggsy to take home. He texted Harry a picture of himself eating it after he got back home.

He didn’t get a response, but he didn’t expect one if Harry was working again. He didn’t know anything about a tailor’s working hours, but they were still longer than he expected.


	2. Chapter 2

It took several weeks before his friends said anything. Which considering Eggsy literally posted pictures of himself with Harry on the first night, was longer than he could have asked. 

“If you got a sugar daddy, you could at least share the wealth,” Ryan whined during a night out at the pub. Eggsy had been staring down at his phone, waiting for a picture Harry promised of his dog. 

He looked up, startled that he’d been caught not paying attention to the conversation.

“He ain’t my sugar daddy,” he huffed defensively, locking his screen and shoving his cellphone into his pocket. 

“How many dates you been on?” 

“Wait,” said Jamal. “This the old guy from IG?” 

“He’s not that old!” Eggsy bristled. “He’s alright too. Feeds me more than you lot.” 

“I bought this round,” Jamal muttered into his pint. 

“I can buy the next if you gaze lovingly at my texts like that,” Brandon grinned, leaning over the table. “What’d he say?” 

Eggsy crossed his arms, pulling at his jacket so that they wouldn’t be able to get at his pockets if they tried. “Leave it,” he grumbled, glaring at each of them. “And leave Harry alone. He’s a decent sort.” 

The three of them blinked at him, seemingly waiting for more, but Eggsy was done. The silent stillness stood out against the hectic energy of the rest of the pub, and only broke when Eggsy’s cell finally vibrated in his pocket. He glanced down at it, but looked back up at his friends. 

“Not even gonna deny it?” Ryan finally asked.  

“Deny what?” 

“Are you actually dating him?” Now Ryan looked from Brandon to Jamal, but they both turned to their drinks, refusing to make eye contact. “Am I the only one who wants to know?” 

“He’s sending me pictures of Mr. Pickle!” Eggsy exclaimed. He finally took out his phone and opened the message. Sure enough, it was a cairn terrier wearing a blue sequined bow tie. It was adorable and Eggsy angrily held it up for the table to see. 

“It’s fine, Eggsy,” Brandon said, holding his hands up. “Dating him or not.” 

“We aren’t dating. We’re friends, you and me are friends--for now--why is that hard to understand?” Eggsy locked his screen again. He’d have to reply to Harry later. 

They all shared a look and Eggsy frowned. It felt wrong to be on the outside of their shared ‘knowing’ exchanges. 

“Look mate,” Jamal said in a soothing tone. “We know you ain’t like that kind of stuff, and that’s alright, hey? But if you do, that’s alright too. Get me?” 

Eggsy’s frown softened. Teasing was one thing, but they genuinely thought he might be hiding a relationship because he was scared. If he was hiding, maybe it would have occurred to him to be scared. His hackles lowered, and Eggsy caught himself in a grin. “It’s really nothin’,” he said. “But thanks.” 

“Okay,” Brandon chimed in. “Now let me see that dog!” 

They all cooed over the pictures of Mr. Pickle, lamenting that none of them could have pets except for Eggsy. He promised to let them dress up JB for a photoshoot sometime. It was a nice distraction from the thought that niggled at the back of Eggsy’s mind. 

Aside from the bit about Harry being his sugar daddy, the rest hadn’t bothered him. Normally the idea of being romantically tangled with someone felt like putting a shoe on the wrong foot. But on his solitary walk home, Eggsy couldn’t help but picture what it might be like, if he and Harry looked at each other with something more than friendship. 

They were an odd pair whether they were platonic or not, so that much wouldn’t change. Maybe Harry would linger longer on their outings though. Maybe he would text back more often, or let Eggsy treat him for once when they went for a meal. Maybe they could hold hands as Harry saw him home at the end of a date. 

Eggsy stopped outside his door, staring down at the knob with his face burning hotly. Maybe it would be nice if it was with Harry. 

* * *

No matter how hard Eggsy tried not to think about it, the thought kept popping up. At work, out at the pub, sitting at home with JB and texting Harry, although the last one probably didn’t help at all.

He sat on the floor next to his bed, JB snored away near his pillow, as if Eggsy wasn’t experiencing a crisis. He stared hard at his phone, waiting for Harry to respond to his invitation to the cinema. There was a new chick flick coming out, and Harry seemed oddly entertained by them. It was the perfect way to test if maybe, just maybe, Eggsy might  _ like  _ him. 

Harry’s responses came. 

_ [18:59] I’d love to, Eggsy. I’ll meet you there for the seven o’clock showing tomorrow? _

_ [19:00] My weekend is going to be very busy with work, and this is the only night I’m free this week.  _

Eggsy sent a very nonchalant thumbs up emoji, even as he let out a strange noise that startled JB. The movie looked like shit when he went to watch the trailer on Youtube, but it wouldn’t matter if Harry enjoyed it. 

It might have been nice to have more time to psych himself up for how he would handle their outing. But apparently tailors had the weirdest, most random hours in the world. At least he could beg off work more easily in the middle of the week. 

There was still time before he needed sleep, so Eggsy fetched his laptop to begin some crucial research. 

The first result when he Googled how to tell if he was going on a date directed him to simply ask. Eggsy scoffed at how ridiculous that was and he moved on to the second result. 

**10 Ways To Tell If He Likes You**

Now that sounded more like what he needed. So far they were going to the cinema, and they were watching a film. The list said that romcoms were a good sign that it was an actual date. Eggsy made a mental note to see if Harry held his hand, although he scratched off waiting to see if ‘he’ paid, because Harry always paid. 

There was also a lot about body language. Eggsy tried to remember through his past interactions with Harry, did his pupils get large when they were together? Did he lick his lips? When he crossed his legs, did he turn his torso towards Eggsy, or away? When they walked next to each other, did Harry ever touch his arm or shoulder more than he had to? 

Eventually, Eggsy had to modify his search, because most of the tips assumed he was a bird. Unfortunately, most of that seemed to be the same, or even more vague than before. 

Eggsy sighed, leaning against his bed again. He’d been reading for hour, and his tailbone was getting sore from sitting on the bed. From what he could tell, there was a decent chance he could have a shot with Harry. 

Sure Eggsy initiated a lot of the texts, but Harry had still been the first to text at all. He told Eggsy plenty of embarrassing stories about himself, and seemed interested whenever Eggsy shared. But all told, and if he was being honest, if either of them were dropping clear hints from the lists, it was Eggsy. 

So he did like Harry, he did want to hold his hand, and he wanted to be the most special to Harry. Acknowledging it didn’t feel wrong. 

“I’ll try and figure it out tomorrow,” Eggsy told JB. “I know what to look for now.”  

He showered and changed into more comfortable sleeping clothes before he nudged JB over. He felt good, he had a plan. 

* * *

 

Eggsy’s alarm starting going off at 7:30AM, and he turned it off groggily. He was wrong, he was a complete buffoon; he didn’t have a plan, he had tips from online magazines that were minor observations about regular ticks that everyone had. 

This was a horrible plan. He had to abandon it completely before he managed to fuck it up. What if Harry realized what he was doing? Harry was so observant all the damn time, there was no way Eggsy would be able to pull one over on him. And even worse, what if Harry knew what he was doing, and didn’t return his feelings? 

Eggsy agonized into his pillow before his second alarm went off. He dragged his body out of bed. He was tempted to shower again to try and wash off the stupidity, but settled for his face, and brushing his teeth. 

He wished he had bothered to try romance before. Even if it had been weird and uncomfortable to try and engage someone in that way, at least he’d now know what the fuck he was doing. Eggsy looked at his puffy face after he tried it roughly with a hand towel. He looked like shit 

After fussing over his clothes and hair, Eggsy looked at the clock and realized he still nine hours before he needed to leave.

With a huff, Eggsy looked down at his clothes. He didn’t want to spend all day wearing his date outfit; with his luck, they’d get ruined. Eggsy changed into sweats and called for JB. 

Despite deciding that they weren’t really all that helpful, Eggsy continued reading tips on his mobile as he took JB out for a walk. After reading so many, he began to recognize that they all seemed to recycle the same thirty tips or so, just worded differently. 

Eggsy collapsed onto a park bench to let JB, his precious sausage, rest. 

In a minor fit of desperation, Eggsy opened the messenger window and contacted Roxy. 

_ (12:34) Tell me about harry  _

There was no forthcoming response. That was fair, considering she was probably at work, or was ignoring Eggsy. He waited another five minutes before he scratched the top of JB’s head and stood up. They made one more loop around the park before he took JB home. 

The day was passing too damn slow, it was making Eggsy’s nerves so much worse. 

Eventually he pulled out his mobile again. 

_ (14:03) whats his favourite colour? _

_ (14:03) is he into blokes?  _

_ (14:04) is he even single? Bcuz if he aint, its shit to hang out w/ me this much _

_ (14:04) rox im dyin _

_ (14:04) send help _

_ (14:04) gunna see a film 2night w/ him _

Eggsy was in the middle of another message when Roxy finally responded. 

_ (14:05) Eggsy, what the actual fuck.  _

_ (14:05) help me! _

_ (14:07) I’m at work with the exact boss to whom you are referring. Why are you still going out with him?  _

Eggsy gasped, hunching over to take several deep breaths. 

_ (14:08) goign out?? Did he say that?  _

_ (14:08) rox did he say that???? _

_ (14:09) I meant ‘spending time with him’, you absolute onion.  _

_ (14:10) And correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you tell me that you didn’t do romantic relationships with anyone? _

Eggsy’s pouted shifted slightly. He had told her as much almost immediately upon meeting her. It had been true at the time, but he hadn’t seen Roxy since that night, even if they liked each others pictures and statuses on social media. He considered his response. 

_ (14:13) first time it felt like i could  _

_ (14:14) I see. Well, if you think this is a good thing, then I’m happy for you :)  _

_ (14:15) And to answer your question, Mr. Hart hasn’t said anything, but does seem a bit chipper today.  _

Eggsy grinned until his cheeks hurt. There could have been other reasons that Harry was in a good mood, but he chose to believe it was because Harry was excited for their date too. He fell back, lying on his couch with JB sniffing his head. 

_ (14:16) so i have a shot? _

_ (14:19) Well, I can’t say that I’ve had a lot of heart to hearts with him, but even if you don’t, he’ll be very polite about it.  _

_ (14:20) tha not wat i wanna hear ):  _

_ (14:25) He isn’t the type to put up with people he doesn’t like. If he’s spending time with you, I’m sure he at least likes you.  _

_ (14:26) Is that good enough? May I please get back to work?  _

_ (14:26) good enuf, cheers rox  _

_ (14:28) Good luck, Eggsy!  _

That actually was more helpful than Eggsy expected it to be. Feeling renewed, he plugged his mobile in to charge and followed a barking JB into the kitchen to feed them both. With all of his anxiety, he hadn’t realized how hungry he’d become. 

Then he changed again, fussing even more with his hair. It was getting too long, he’d have to either get it cut or learn how to coif it like Harry. Maybe he’d even teach Eggsy how to do it. 

He hurried out, despite the fact that it was still half an hour before he would have needed to leave. It was cold out, and it had rained earlier, but thankfully it was dry for the walk over. He’d messed with his hair so much, and still he’d somehow forgotten his hat. Hopefully it wouldn’t rain when it was time for him to walk home. 

Harry always had an umbrella anyway. Maybe he would insist on sharing it with Eggsy. Maybe they would have to walk closely next to each other, staying dry and warm as they strolled down the street. 

Eggsy shook his head; he was daydreaming too much. 

He didn’t bother texting Harry when he reached the cinema. It was still early, so Eggsy milled around the outside, looking at the posters for the upcoming attractions. Hopefully there would be something that he and Harry could both enjoy. 

When Harry arrived, Eggsy noticed that he was also early. Indeed, Harry blinked at Eggsy several times before he approached. “I didn’t expect you to be here already,” he said. 

Eggsy curled his shoulders in sheepishly. “Want to get the good seats,” he muttered.  

Harry raised his eyebrows. “They’re reserved,” he pointed out. 

Eggsy cursed Harry with his logic, and he had no response. Brain short circuiting, he just stared at Harry blankly, until Harry cocked his head with an amused look. “Shall we get snacks?” 

It never stopped being funny to him that prim Harry Hart in his bespoke suits liked junk food. It was amazing that he kept so damn fit when he ordered a large icee, candy, and popcorn before turning to Eggsy for his selection. 

And then, as the online articles had said he would, Harry paid.

They took their snacks into the theater and sat next to each other. Eggsy carefully situation his own drink and pretzel before he casually glanced over at Harry. He was sitting with his hands politely folded in his lap. The damn tosser. Even if Eggsy could work up the nerve to make a go for his hand, he couldn’t very well reach into Harry’s lap. 

They were the first people in their seats, but as more filed in, Eggsy couldn’t help but take note of all the couples with giggling girlfriends. 

“I’m glad we were able to get out tonight,” Harry said, leaning in with his voice lowered. 

“Yeah,” Eggsy said almost numbly. Leaning toward him was on the list, even if it was so Eggsy could hear him over the other conversations. He turned and slurped on his coke to try and cool his cheeks. 

Harry leaned back when Eggsy didn’t respond further. 

The lights dimmed and the trailers began, causing the rest of the audience to hush. The movie finally started after ads for two more romcoms, one action flick, and yet another Marvel movie. While the plot was barely similar to his situation, Eggsy couldn’t help but see himself in the pining lead. 

He watched nearly enraptured, hoping for cosmic advice, while munching on his pretzel. 

Toward the end, Eggsy had sprawled in his seat, frustrated at how many things could be solved quickly with a simple conversation. But then again, he’d skipped over all the articles that tried to tell him to do something as outlandish as have an actual conversation with Harry. But Eggsy wasn’t like Beth in that way! Beth just needed to talk to Nathan, but Eggsy clearly needed to dance around the topic and slowly die inside. 

Suddenly, he felt a warmth and glanced down distractedly. He was stretched a bit over the line of the electric recliners, which was honestly a bit rude of him. But, as he saw in the light from the screen, Harry’s hand was on top of his. 

Eggsy stared for a beat, and then he turned back to the screen. He didn’t react outwardly, waiting to see if Harry would realize what he did if it was some sort of accident. The scene changed, and Harry still hadn’t moved. Eggsy gulped and turned his hand, quickly lacing his fingers with Harry’s. There was no resistance to the movement. Harry’s hand was warm and significantly bigger than his. 

His insides were simultaneously melting and swooping. Eggsy couldn’t pay any attention to the screen or what was happening on it, because he was  _ holding Harry’s hand _ . 

The movie ended how Eggsy expected, with a grand gesture that supposedly made up for Nathan being a shit love interest, and applause from a traffic jam that would definitely be cursing at them for blocking the motorway. 

Eggsy squeezed Harry’s hand as the lights came on, and he looked over with feigned nonchalance. “Everything you expected?” 

“Some surprises,” Harry said benignly. He pulled his hand away and Eggsy was bereft. He covered it, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. 

They left the theater, walking in the direction of Eggsy’s place. Fortunately, or unfortunately Eggsy couldn’t decide, it wasn’t raining. 

“If you like, I can call an Uber,” Harry offered. 

Eggsy shook his head, because even if it was over 9, he didn’t want to leave yet. “No thanks, but you don’t have to walk with me,” he said, guiltily aware of the fact that Harry was going to need a car to return to his part of town. 

“Nonsense,” Harry tutted. “The least I can do is see you home.” 

That wasn’t even a little bit the  _ least  _ Harry could do for Eggsy, but he’d tried to argue about that before. 

He chewed his lip as he glanced down at Harry’s hand that was tucked into his trouser pocket. Harry had held his hand; Eggsy wanted to say something about it. 

“Your hands are warm.” Fuck, that was not a smooth shift. Even Harry looked a bit startled at the remark. 

“Thank you,” he said. “So are yours. Although I still hope you’ve gotten gloves, it’ll be winter soon.” 

Eggsy pressed his lips together, tempted to derail the conversation with ‘Winter Is Coming’. But he was so close to an answer without having to have a real conversation, he could feel it. Harry went to see a romantic movie with him, Harry had paid for the tickets and the snacks, Harry _held_ his fucking _hand_. 

“So, gloves,” he said weakly. “Gloves for hands.” 

Harry chuckled, “yes, those would be the ones.” 

“Hands, and, and,” Eggsy couldn’t think of how to continue. How could he assemble his jumbled thoughts into sneaky words that insinuated what he couldn’t say? Why did Harry have to get to him like this? 

He recognized a landmark that meant they were nearing the park where he walked JB. Shit, he was going to run out of time. Harry was going to be busy for the rest of the week, which meant another week of having no fucking clue what was going on between them. 

Panic froze Eggsy in his steps, and Harry turned to him with a questioning look. Eggsy opened his mouth to assure him it was nothing, but what came out of was half shouted, “ _ date _ ?!” 

Harry blinked, “I beg your pardon?”  

“Was this?” Eggsy asked, scrubbing his face. It was out there. His only comfort was at least he wasn’t going to be like Beth in the second act. “Was this a date, Harry?” 

Harry watched him in silence until he finally stopped running his hand over his face. “Do you want it to be?” he asked.  

What? Harry was supposed to tell him if it was a date or not, not respond with more questions. Questions were supposed to be answered! It didn’t even occur to him to try and label it outside of his own internal narrative. Eggsy felt his mouth open and close unattractively, and he struggled to answer without his voice cracking. “I really think I do.” 

“Then it was.” Harry answered, like it was that simple. 

Well fuck, in for a penny. “And you’re my boyfriend?” Eggsy nearly demanded. 

Harry’s pleasant mask cracked at that, and his smile took an adorably shy edge. “I’d like that,” he said.  

“Shit, me too,” Eggsy breathed, reaching for Harry’s lapels. They kissed, softer and more chaste than any of the other few kisses Eggsy had indulged in. But it was perfect, on the dark street, in the cold air, he felt perfect. 

Fuck you Beth and Nathan. 

Harry held him tightly, breaking the kiss to simply hug Eggsy around the waist. Eggsy didn’t mind having to stand on his toes in that position. If anything, he liked being reminded of Harry’s height, while he had his arms around Harry’s broad shoulders. 

Before he could decide whether or not he wanted to explore the extra heat that was beginning to gather in his belly, Harry’s mobile beeped. Eggsy felt the sigh that Harry heaved, and he didn’t resist when Harry stepped back to check it. 

“Hamish, you absolute fucker,” he grumbled before locking the screen again. “I’m so sorry, but that was my assistant manager.” 

“One more,” Eggsy said quickly, going back up to his toes. 

Harry chuckled and leaned down to kiss him again. “Next Monday,” he said with his lips brushing against Eggsy’s. “Would you be free for dinner?”  

“Abso-fuckin-lutely,” Eggsy grinned. 

“Wonderful. Now, I can call a car for you as well.” 

“Don’t bother, I’m on the other side of the park.” Plus he was practically going to float home anyway. 

Harry glanced toward the well lit park and nodded. “Text me when you’re home safe.” 

Eggsy agreed and took off at a jog. He was going to get distracted if he stayed, and it would only be worse when he had to say goodbye again. 

He was home within minutes, and he swept JB up for an impromptu dance. “You got another daddy, JB!” he sang as JB licked his chin. “Are you excited too, or just hungry?” 

The answer was hungry, but Eggsy didn’t mind. He texted Harry as he listened to JB’s huffing eating sounds. 

_ [21:47] Home safe  _

Eggsy bit his lip, and then he added a kissing emoji at the end, just because he could. Harry responded with the same emoji, and unbidden, Eggsy recalled that the use of emojis had been on the lists. 


End file.
